Sometimes movies that are not good aren't really bad either (especially not awesomely terrible) but rather MEH. Woody Allen's newest oeuvre "You will meet a tall dark stranger" definitely falls into that category. Not terribly surprising, some of his movies I really like (for example "Mighty Aphrodite", "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" or "Match Point") but some leave me indifferent (like "Scoop" (even though it had Hugh Jackman in it) or "Everyone says I love you"). But seldom have I been so bored by a movie or found it so insignificant.
Despite a promising cast (Naomi Watts, Gemma Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Brolin, Freida Pinto, Antonio Banderas) the movie was as bland and flat as yesterday's champagne. They did try, and Naomi Watts wasn't half bad, but the story was so old and used up, that even her valiant ploughing on couldn't revive it. I'm afraid it had died a slow and painful death even before the first shot was filmed. But even after death there was not enough spark to turn it into a Zombie. Nope, it just lay there like a dead flounder, not even flopping around occasionally. The sad part is, that it didn't have to end up so sadly. With a better script the story could have been quite entertaining, if trite.
The only bright spot in this otherwise forgettable movie was Lucy Punch as the occasional prostitute turned trophy wife Charmaine ("Cor?!"). So after sitting through 98 minutes of unmotivated storytelling the (banal) conclusion is: People make stupid choices. And life goes on. Thankfully I didn't have to pay for my ticket since it was a freeby.
A solid D-
Did you see it? Whatcha think?
Happy December 20th! And here's a tall, dark stranger for you.
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